Eli’s birth story

I had a lot of surprises in 2015, but getting pregnant with Eli was my biggest. For my prior pregnancies, I needed fertility assistance to get pregnant, so we didn’t think we would be in danger of a surprise baby. But…. SURPRISE!!!

As with the prior two pregnancies, we kept the sex of the third baby a surprise until birth. Since we already had a girl and boy, we would be happy with either outcome. Furthermore, I enjoyed the excitement and surprise surrounding the arrival of the baby. For me, it made every birth a uniquely memorable one.

Because it had to be a planned cesarian delivery, we got to pick Eli’s birth date. We had a difficult time deciding since my due date was May 4th, a week after Ty’s birthday, and chances were pretty good that the cubs would have joint birthday parties. But should we give them both the same birthday or different ones? Well it turned out, Ty made the decision for us. He requested that the baby share the same birthday as his. “I want a baby for my birthday.”

My cesarian section was scheduled on a Thursday and my last day of work was the Friday prior. On the Saturday after my last day of work, we invited another couple over for lunch at our home the next day. The couple had a child with epilepsy and Quinn was just diagnosed a month earlier. We wanted to meet and pick their brains a bit. They were great and we had a very informative lunch. After lunch, I went to lay down.

When I woke up from my nap, my water broke. Because I already ate a big meal and I didn’t have any contractions when we arrived at the hospital, they didn’t want to operate. So we were given the choice of waiting 12 hours and then they would operate (around 11:30pm) or eating dinner and waiting until 7 am the next morning. I was starving and opted for the second option. It was a mistake!

I had my meal an hour later and then had contractions all night long. He was finally born at 7:03 am on April 24th with no complications.

Eli was born during a time when we were just about to jump into the special needs world. There was so much uncertainty. I was so worried about whether he would have special needs too or whether we would be able to handle the 3rd cub, given everything on our plates.

As it turned out, Eli was pretty great. We never had to worry about him. He was a calm and happy cub, just like his older siblings. When he was old enough, he accompanied Quinn to almost every home therapy session and benefited greatly from them. A lot of Quinn’s therapists had commented on how he was developmentally advanced for his age. He spoke, walked, and hit all the milestones before Ty did at his age.

At one point, I joked that I had twins because Eli and Quinn were roughly on the same level developmentally. We got a double stroller for them because they both couldn’t walk long distances. They were very close in sizes, too, so many strangers asked if they were twins.

Eli grew up surrounded by therapy and neuro-diversity. I really felt bad for him because a lot of his needs had to be ranked secondary next to his older sibling’s challenging behaviors. One night, he had asked if I could stay and cuddle with him and it broke my heart to say, “I can’t. Quinn needs me.” I couldn’t cuddle with him at bedtime because his older sister was screaming for me in the next room. It broke my heart everytime I left him alone with Quinn’s screams while I momentarily walked away to breathe so I won’t lose it on her. He had to endure a lot for a toddler. Fortunately, he didn’t know any differently. In a lot of ways, Eli had to grow up faster and follow routines better so that he could be a good example for his big sister and big brother. Hopefully, he is going to be a better person for it.

Eli turns 4 today!! He continues to be an unbelievably funny and affectionate little soul. Despite all my worries about bringing a 3rd cub into our family, he really saved me from a lot of dark times. He makes me laugh literally everyday. I am always in awe watching him take on new skills on his own that so many of us take for granted. He is a constant little reminder for me to find humor in life and appreciate the little things.

I am not his only admirer. He has developed quite a little fan club amongst our community with his witty commentary and charm. I have a growing collection of “Eli-isms”. Here are a few from this year:

• When his music teacher was leaving, he gave her a hug and said “be careful for cars while you drive home.”
• He invited his music teacher to our home to make smoothies. “Just don’t make Ty mad, ok? He doesn’t like bad smoothies.”
• He placed a thermometer in my ear and reads the result, “Oh, it’s beautifully bad.”
• “You do the Mama one and I do the Daddy one”, he instructed me while singing “True colors” (the Trolls version).
• While asking him to greet his Auntie with a hug, he runs to her and goes, “Oh, I LOVE hugs!”

Above all, I am most proud of what an exceptional little brother he’s become! He plays so well with Quinn and even helps her cheat during speech therapy. When he’s not annoying his big brother Ty (6 years his senior), Eli really keeps up with him, along with Ty’s friends. He’s going to be a force to be reckoned with.