Quinn’s hairstyles – Tigerish Mom

When you look back on old photos, the female hairstyles tend to change year to year, more so than the males. I thought it would be fun to look back on Quinn’s hairstyles and the challenges and solutions we’ve had with it.

Trim and pigtails

Since Mike performed the boys’ haircuts, it was natural that I took over Quinn’s. Growing up, my mom cut our hairs so cutting hair was not a foreign concept to me. I didn’t know the basic techniques, but a simple YouTube search fixed that. Since Quinn’s hair grew in gradually, she was the perfect teacher for me.

In the beginning, it was easy since there wasn’t much to do except wait for her hair to grow in. When her hair got long enough, I would trim it to even out the ends. To me, even length hair looked thicker, whereas uneven ends looked thin and wispy. A skilled hairdresser could probably have made thin & wispy look good, but that wasn’t my forte. I opted for the easier look: even ends.

Eventually, her hair grew long enough to play with hair ties and barrettes. uinn wasted no time in letting us know that barrettes were not going to work. Whether it was due to sensory issues or control, she wouldn’t succumb to any distraction or bribery to keep them on. And when she would yank them off, they were almost always accompanied with a several strands of hair.

Hair ties were my lifesavers. I happened to come across these tiny black plastic bands at the dollar store. They easily slipped right off her hair with a firm tug, but not so easily for a little girl with delayed fine motor skills. My only complaint about the ties were that they were only one-time uses (Sorry, Mother Earth)! I graduated from them as soon as I could.

Matilda Haircut

This cut was basically a straight blunt cut in the front and back to keep her hair out of her eyes and mouth. My sisters lovingly named this the Matilda cut. At this stage in her life, she had a habit of chewing hair so the length was set on purpose. When her hair could reach her mouth or eyes, it was time for a cut. Hair eating was a pet peeve of mine, especially when paired with food. Mike was also worried the hair in front of her face would trigger her seizures since nearsighted objects tend to do that.

Quinn did not sit well for hair cuts. We would bring her high chair outside, along with the iPad and any distraction we can think of. Cutting her bangs was the hard part so I did that last. It’s really hard to distract her when I have to look at her face. It almost always ended up with Mike holding her head still and yelling at me to hurry up. He was not very good at holding her head still either, which made the cut take longer. It was so stressful.

Cutting bangs

To cut bangs, I would gather them together in the front of her face and then snip. Next, I would comb it out and trim the sides of the bangs to even it out. That’s how I trimmed my bangs back in my high school days.

My trick with cutting bangs was to wet them and cut them until they fall right at her eye level. When her hair dried, the bangs would lift just a little bit and sit perfectly at her eye brow level. I liked bangs that hover right above the eyebrows or lower. Any higher and the look would be too short for me.

Side swept/Braids

As cute as the Matilda cut was, I didn’t want her to keep that look for the rest of her life. I see this haircut on a lot of older girls with special needs. I understood why. The Matilda look was easy to maintain and easy to cut. Sometimes in the morning, we didn’t have to do anything to her hair but wet it down. But I didn’t want to draw attention to her special needs. I wanted her to look like a “normal” little girl. Most “normal” little girls her age had long hair that was tied back or braided.

Once we noticed that she stopped chewing on her hair, it seemed like a good time to let her hair grow out and explore another look. Long hair was a lot of work to maintain, though. I had flashbacks of my sister painfully combing the knots out of my hair as a little girl every morning. It was a lot of work, especially if the hair belonged to a noncompliant little girl. I knew I wasn’t going there. So if I couldn’t go “normal”, I would go chic. I had set off to find a look that was different but stylish. In came the short side swept bangs look.

To grow out her bangs, I put them in braids. This worked wonderfully since Frozen was all the rage at the time. And it really kept her hair out of her face! We got a lot of compliments from her teachers, therapists, and everyone we met.

Braiding hair

My trick to braiding was to spray the hair with water first, then braid it. Mike preferred to comb her hair with a wet comb to get it moist. I would recommend using the spray if you can, even if you have to baby step the process (i.e. do only two sprays and then moisten the rest with a wet comb). I regretted defaulting to his technique. The spray was easier to use and portable. Plus, if she was ever to go to a real hairdresser for an updo or something special, exposing her to sprays would help desensitize her.

After her hair is wet, I would do a half french braid (my term). In a normal french braid, you would pick up a little bit of hair from both sides to braid in. In my version, I only took hair from one side, not both sides, and braided. This braid (combined with the water trick) made for a faster and tighter braid.

If I braided to the very end of the strand and tied it off there, the front bangs would loosen and fall out after nap. However, if I tied the braid higher towards her head (essentially catching her shortest bang), the whole braid would stay put all day, even through naps.

Unfortunately, I didn’t know I was going to be creating a blog about this so I don’t have photos or videos to show you. Hopefully someday when this whole COVID-19 thing is behind us, I’ll find a little girl to volunteer so I can demonstrate it for you in video.

Pixie cut

This cut was not by choice. Her hair fell out from a side effect of the medication (Depakote) she was taking. It was so painful watching her hair thin. I knew it was going to take a long time to grow out, too, even though her hair grew unusually fast. You could see her scalp from all angles. All her teachers noticed it too but only one actually asked us about it. To me, she looked so unhealthy, compared to her previous looks. I just wanted her back to “normal”. I felt so vain and superficial having these feelings. Her outside appearance was a reminder of all the medical chaos we were dealing within our closed doors.

There really wasn’t too much we could do to help her appearance. Her doctor recommended supplements but she was already taking them with the Soylent drinks she loved so much. We tried to space her meds farther apart from mealtimes since Depakote could effect vitamin absorption. I even took her to a real hair dresser and she couldn’t make her hair look any better.

So after watching many YouTube videos, I cut her hair myself. Honestly, I wouldn’t even know how to recreate it. I was just focusing on evening her ends and it came out like this. I was so scared to do it but I knew keeping her hair thick and even was the way to go. Her hair was starting to fill back in near her scalp. I waited for Thanksgiving break when I was with my family in PA. My sister (the beauty blogger) was there to help me. I bought the special haircutting scissors, as well as the texture scissors. I also made sure my mom held Quinn’s head and not Mike. My mom had a very strict no-nonsense demeanor and Quinn rarely fought her at that age. With everything in place, I took a deep breath and got to work.

Who knew this girl could rock a pixie cut, huh? We had Thanksgiving dinner the day after the haircut so I braced myself for the feedback. Some family members voiced that they were not a fan of the look. I got it. But they didn’t see her before the cut. It was a vast improvement compared to her previous look. The family members who saw her before the cut were supportive and I clung onto their encouragements for dear life.

Curly hair

When her new hair grew in, it came in curly! And they were nice big curls too. Having straight hair all my life, I was ecstatic about this development. I didn’t have to nor did I want to trim any hair for a year. The curls gave her head more volumne!

Styling her hair was easy! They almost always stayed in place if we combed it out of her face. And if we had to tie it up, the ends would curl up nicely. It was fabulous! I felt like the curls helped hold the braid better too. The curls were a blessing. They certainly made it easier to grow out her hair.

I had let it grow as long as the curls lasted (about a year). When it was clear her curly hair wasn’t going to be permanent, I had to cut off the curls. It was not chic to straddle two different looks. 😂

Current Hairstyles

Today, her hair has grown in beautifully. She still has a lot of hairs growing in from the hair loss so sometimes she looks like she has bangs. But we can hopefully grow it all out in one length. Our main purpose these days is to keep her hair out of her face. We’ve graduated to using normal hair ties so she has plenty of hair options for whatever mood she is in.

We even have even brought back the alligator clip barrettes. Although still not a favorite of Quinn, they are necessary on the days where time and patience are in short supply! We don’t use these very often because she knows she can successfully pull them out of her hair. They also do not hold up during tantrums.

Single half up

We started with this technique, simply just to get her bangs from her face. We would resort to this look sometimes when she was having a tough time! It was quick and got the job done.

Pigtails

I was so excited when we finally got to do tie pigtails. It looked so cute on her. The trick here was to tie these so that they are between the ears or face in order to catch all the small baby hairs.

Space buns

We moved to this style when her pigtails kept getting in the way of her eating. The hair didn’t hold up for too long in a bun. If it was a rough day, they would turn into pigtails. All good!

French braid pigtails

My little sister requested this look when she asked Quinn to be her flowergirl. Quinn did not sit well for braids so this look was only reserved for special occasions. To prepare for the wedding, I braided her hair everyday for a little over a week so that she could get used to sitting for it and my hands could get the practice in. I used the school as a testing ground to see which hair product (mouse, hair spray, etc) would hold up all day. Hairspray was the winner.

Pigtail merge

Mike made up this hairstyle and it was our goto everyday hairstyle. I was sure it had been done by someone somewhere but I called it a Pigtail merge. We tied pigtails to take care of the fine baby hairs in the front. Then we tied the ends of the pigtails together with the rest of her hair into a single ponytail/bun. This kept the hair from her face, as well as the hair from the back of her neck, which worked well for the summer! The hairs in the back would come undone at some point but overall, it held up for a while.

Yes, dads can do hair too!

Current hair prep routine

We sit her in her highchair in the morning for breakfast. Her hair is usually a hot mess.
We get the iPad playing on high volume so she’s distracted.
We wet our hands and comb through her hair with our wet fingers just to slick it back away from her face. Sometimes we do this upstairs when we get ready in the morning. The goal is to do this BEFORE she eats.
We serve her breakfast.
Then we grab a cup with comb and start combing away.

If she’s in a good mood, hair can take under 5 minutes. She happily munches on her breakfast and enjoys the show on the iPad. If she is in a bad mood, she’s swatting at me with my every touch and starts throwing things. Hair has taken over an hour before.

Back when I was single momming it in the mornings, this was impossible to not lose my cool. Now with Mike home due to COVID-19, I can just tap Mike in so I can go recharge from the battle.

None of these hairstyles were fool proof (held her hair in place all day). Braids were probably the best technique to hold her hair in place, but it required Quinn to stay pretty still for a long while. Single ties were quick to do but came loose in an hour. Besides, having hair in the face seemed pretty common among the little girls we’ve met, unless you wanted to use hair products, which we didn’t. I tried to leave her hair in her face all day (except meal times) to see what she would do but it honestly didn’t seem to bother her. It would drive me crazy, tickling my nose and obscuring my vision. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Her therapists joked that they can tell what kind of day she’s having by how tidy her hair is.

I’ve learned that hair is a big part of your identity. Not only does it speak of your style, it can communicate your health and overall maintenance level. Her past hair styles have been influenced by her medical and behavioral circumstances. Who knows what her future styles will look like? For the time being, we will have fun exploring the different ways to make her look chic but functional. Hopefully, we can set a trend that normal is overrated.