How is everyone dealing with social distancing? Doing well? Treating it like an opportunity to tryout new hobbies and learn new skills? Yeah, not us either.
It’s been a challenge having the kids home and being limited in what you can do and who you’re allowed to see. Also, Mike is working from home so… there is that adjustment.
Challenges
- We just got back from my little sister’s wedding last weekend (venue wouldn’t reschedule and we COULD NOT miss the wedding). So we are really trying to quarantine ourselves.
- 90% of kid activities (school, therapies, after school activities) have been cancelled, rightly so. So no therapies, no Tae Kwon do classes, … Nothing to break up the day.
- All our activities have been outdoors. So if it rains, forget it!
- With the cold New England weather in March, we’re really limited in what we can do outside!
- No outside support (nannies/babysitters/etc) this week due to the quarantine.
- Eli and Ty can’t be left alone. They fight a lot and I just can’t take the unfair fight between an 8yo and 3yo.
- Quinn is highly attached to Mike. Now that he’s been working from home, she’s been harder to manage (i.e. refusing me and calling for him even though he’s not “home”).
- Quinn doesn’t get sucked into screentime like the boys. So I don’t even have an option of an electronic babysitter so I could take a breather.
Take shifts (share the parenting)
Mike and I ironed out a schedule so we don’t get burned out. We both have to work and both jobs are equally as important. Ultimately mine is (#kidstrumpeverything) but for the sake of argument, our jobs are equal.
So the deal is I would take care of entertaining the little kids (Eli + Quinn) and Mike would be in charge of meal times and planning the meals. Ty can float between us.
- 6am – 12pm = Mike works; Lana does breakfast and entertains kids
- 12pm – 1pm = Mike feeds kids while Lana takes a break
- 1pm – 5pm = Mike works; Lana entertains
- 5pm – 6pm = Mike feeds kids; Lana break
- 6pm+ = we parent together (bath, bedtime, etc).
One issue we ran into was with Quinn’s separation anxiety. We started the week with Mike helping me during breakfast but Mike didn’t get to work until 9:30-10am because of Quinn’s meltdowns. So we agreed to have him get up earlier. Pre-pandemic, he woke up early to get to the gym and I would do breakfast alone. So with this new change, it won’t break our routines or sleep patterns.
The second issue was that sometimes Mike would have meetings scheduled at noon. We made it a hard rule that he had to block his lunch hour and stick to his shift or this plan would fall apart. I was literally falling apart near lunchtime and the kids really needed to be fed on time if they were to be in good moods.
The third issue is Mike does not have the meal planning down. 😂 So perhaps this requires too much mental energy for him. So I might have to take this back but I want to see how the rest of the week plays out before shifting this.
The issues that we still have in iron out is how to find time to exercise. Exercise is a big part of keeping us mentally stable. Lord knows we are not eating right during this stressful time. With my sister’s wedding out of the way and this feeling of impending doom, there really is not much keeping my stress eating under control.
What to do with the kids
The name of the game is to keep the kids occupied. Bored kids = trouble. This list of activities is pretty paltry. A lot of it is just road trips where they stay in the car but at least they get out of the house.
- Take the kids on errands, drive thru preferred. I’ve gone through the pharmacy drive thru, grocery store, dry cleaners, etc.
- kiwico – this is a monthly subscription service that I signed up for Ty last summer. We just have not had the time to do these. So I have a large stack of these. Seems like a good time as any to use them.
- Walks/bike rides – this is probably a controversial activity but my kids do not yet possess the social skills to cope with each other. They really need to get out of the house or there will be a civil war.
- Home exercises from YouTube (blogilates) – this entertained the kids a tiny bit. I think they had more fun climbing on top of me while I was on the floor and actually doing the exercises but at least I tried and feel a little better about myself.
- Car naps – after lunch I drove to the farthest Whole Foods store just so my kids can take a nap in the car. I really needed something there and the local one no longer carried the honey roasted peanut butter so this was an added bonus. Once I got there it was able to hop on to the store’s wifi and watch a show while they napped in the car. #winwin
- Use the car as a playscape. We did this before the pandemic. We would open all the doors in the cars and the kids were allowed to climb all over the seats, including the driver seat. They really enjoyed doing this: pretending to drive, flipping the visor comma, palming the gear shift, etc. The cars would be off during this time of course.
- Family movie nights after dinner
- Shredding paper – having a party with the shreds! This activity lasted about an hour until we ran out of paper. I made a therapy session out of it by getting Quinn to say “paper”.
- Make an event out of bath time. This means bubble baths 🛀, diving lights, extra toys to “wash”, and music. 🎵 This lasted a good hour too.
- Get disco lights and all the dance party at home. 📦 The kids were all over the dance floor for hours at the wedding. I was hoping to try to recreate this at home. It was a good activity that Quinn requested many times during the day.
The next list are activities I plan on doing sometime during the quarantine. I have not done them myself so I can not vouch for them but they seem pretty promising.
- Yoga at home – going to give this a go tomorrow (🌧️) since blogilates didn’t win them over. Maybe yoga will. Plus, Mama is sore from the blogilates.
- Sign up for unlimited car wash program at the local car wash. My cousin in Florida shared this gem and it sounds like a wonderful idea. Eli is always requesting a car wash.
- Cooking, arts and crafts, etc – I know some parents who do this but I can’t handle this stress. I’m too much of a control freak to make this enjoyable for anyone. The closest I will get here is Play-Doh, and even then, I have to leave the room a few minutes in. I know. I know. It’s not them. It’s me. I’m working through it in therapy. Don’t @ me, people.
Remembering to be thankful
I am so thankful that Mike is able to work from home. As challenging as his presence can be, it is nice to not have to parent alone. We’ve been able to tag team it, no matter the schedule and who’s shift it is. If there’s a lull, he’s able to take a quick nap to recharge or I’m allowed to go for a bathroom break or switch the laundry load. At night, we’re allowed to do what we enjoy the most: I’m allowed to take my time and clean while he plays with the kids.
I’m also very thankful for my house. We have a 3 bedroom house and a nice big yard. We also have an apartment above the garage that have been great for Mike and Ty. Mike set up his office there and it’s a great way for him to get out of the house and focus on his work. Ty has joined him too with his kiwico projects and school worksheets. It makes for a nice civilized atmosphere there, away from the chaos at home.